So, you’re going to be a dad! Here’s what you can expect.

From the moment your partner announced she was pregnant, she’s probably been getting unsolicited advice from well-meaning relatives, pamphlets from the doctor, and books from friends who are already parents. Not to mention an ocean of internet links, many of them offering wildly conflicting advice.

There’s no shortage of resources available to new moms. But what about new dads? (And while this story is mostly using the word “dads” this goes for couples where both parents are moms, too.)

You’re going through a life change of your own as you become a parent, but it may be a little harder for you to find answers to your burning questions.

• How can you best support your partner?
• What do you need to bring to the hospital?
• What will labor and delivery be like?
• And, crucially, are you allowed to fetch yourself dinner while waiting for the baby to be born?

To answer the pressing questions of dads-to-be and round up practical tips, we called on Novant Health OB-GYN Dr. Nathan Givens. He’s a dad to four himself — and in his own words, becoming a dad is “pretty amazing.”

What would you tell a first-time father about what to expect during each trimester?

During pregnancy: Most pregnant patients have some level of fatigue during the first trimester, so it’s essential to be considerate of that. Schedules are going to change. I find that altering your plans during that portion of the pregnancy is helpful.

During the second trimester, I encourage people to stay active as they begin to feel better. Encouraging your partner to be active can be very supportive. Changing your exercise regimen to work out alongside your partner can also be helpful — so there’s a sense that you’re in it together.

In the third trimester, it’s common for pregnant women to experience fatigue again, so consideration of your partner’s needs and how it may affect your schedule and your workload around the house is key. And consider that she’s also nervous about the upcoming delivery – and you probably are, too.

Preparing for delivery and delivery itself: The most important thing is to be supportive, but there are plenty of hands-on ways dads can help before and during labor and delivery. Attending prenatal visits in the last part of the third trimester is a great idea, because it will give both mom and dad useful information on what to expect during labor and delivery. (Going to earlier prenatal visits, particularly the first one and the anatomy scan at 20 weeks, is another great way to be supportive.)

There are also some classes that Novant Health offers that dads can attend with moms to be better prepared. There’s one on labor and delivery and one on breastfeeding. Establishing some basic knowledge in both of those areas can help dads support moms.

There’s also a birth plan guide that Novant Health provides, which I encourage all my patients to print out, complete, and bring to the office along with their partner. This gives us a chance to discuss the different ways labor and delivery may play out. This also allows any disagreements about a birth plan to come out in an office setting before labor begins, so the parents can get on the same page if they weren’t already.

Dads can also help by taking care of the logistics when delivery day arrives. Both parents will feel a lot less anxious if they’re clear on where to park when they get to the hospital or what the process will be like when they get there. And dads can make sure the “go-bag” that will accompany them to the hospital is packed with everything he needs, everything mom needs and everything the baby will need.

During labor itself, a dad’s job is to offer support. Labor and delivery nurses are fantastic at working with fathers in facilitating a supportive environment for the pregnant patient as labor becomes more active.

Neither you nor your partner should be in for any surprises unless there is a true emergency. We make a consistent effort to communicate with you about your options as labor progresses to prevent any sense of surprise.

First-time dads also don’t need to be afraid of becoming the targets of anger. It’s highly uncommon to see a pregnant patient get angry with her husband or partner. That’s a spin TV often puts on labor.

The postpartum period: The postpartum period is wildly different for every patient, and the first couple of weeks can be highly emotional, which can be hard for dads, too. Being supportive is often the most you can do, and it’s essential to be aware that even that can be stressful.

In my experience, new dads can sometimes feel like whatever they do isn’t right. They may also feel out of their depth if they haven’t been around babies in the past. The good news is that if you decide to have another child, it gets easier!

However, you are changing roles in your household and your life, which will be complicated. We recommend that the new mom and her partner come in for an early postpartum visit if they need help handling the physical and emotional changes that come with being new parents.

We usually schedule them six weeks in advance, but we are happy to see patients earlier than that.

We have a great postpartum network that makes it easy for us to connect both moms and dads with a therapist so they can both get the support they need navigating this transition.

What are some of the most common misconceptions dads have about childbirth?

That’s a good question. The most common ones I see are:

• That it’s always fast.
• That the pregnant partner will be huffing and puffing the whole time.
• That there’s a “go-time” when labor spontaneously begins — a lot of moms get induced these days.
• That moms can’t eat during labor. There is a labor diet for moms.
• That they shouldn’t go get food, coffee or relax while waiting for the baby to be born. Labor could last awhile, and dads need to take care of themselves.

I still meet plenty of dads who don’t think about what they’ll need at the hospital. The three things I see dads forget the most are a change of underwear and socks, their toiletries and something to do.

How can new dads be advocates for their partners during labor and delivery, and later, during the postpartum period?

There are some simple things that a partner can do to help during labor and delivery. These can include getting the laboring mom ice chips or speaking up for her if she’s feeling sick to her stomach.

Sometimes clinicians miss those smaller things as we focus on getting the baby out, especially if it’s a more complicated delivery. So being attuned to how the mom is feeling and advocating for her emotional and physical needs during labor can be really helpful.

Coming to postpartum visits can be a huge help. We always ask moms how things are going at home, and it can be difficult for people who may be struggling with postpartum mood disorders to communicate that. Having someone there who’s experiencing what’s going on and can speak to their perception of how a mom is doing can be very helpful.

Beyond the postpartum visits, partners can make sure they’re pulling their weight around household work and anticipating needs. Also, sometimes just being present or listening is helpful. You’re not always going to have the right answers, and there might not even be a good answer most of the time. Just being supportive can go a long way.

How can a partner stay grounded and calm if something unexpected happens during labor and delivery?

Thankfully, there are a lot of people around if a situation becomes emergent during labor and delivery. However, if we do need to take the patient to the operating room for surgery, the dad may be left with a feeling of, “What happened?”

That’s why there are two people assigned to touch base with the dad in a situation like this during labor and delivery, to keep him up to date and help him process what’s going on. I’d also recommend that a dad call someone or have someone come sit with him while he waits. Ideally, it would be someone who has experience in labor and delivery.

Sometimes, this can be a doula who has been through a similar situation, or a friend or family member. And just remember, our interests are aligned: Our goal is to deliver your baby the safest way we can.

What would you tell a dad-to-be who doesn’t feel confident being around body fluids or is nervous about being in the room during birth?

I’d tell him that any labor and delivery team will understand — and if you don’t tell them how you feel, they’ll probably pick up on it. We’re pretty good at spotting queasy dads, and we always put a seat behind them and tell them to stand at the top of the bed the whole time.

The dad doesn't have to cut the umbilical cord — in fact, many dads don’t want to cut the cord. And lots of people don’t want to be standing there watching us at the bottom of the bed. So, you won’t have to watch anything you don’t want to — we can drape areas as needed. And no one should feel bad about this decision. It’s common not to want to see what’s going on.

What support do dads need as they step into this new role?

A new dad’s experience is far different than a new mom’s. He’s not going to the doctor for checkups. Most people aren’t asking him how he’s doing. While there are still fewer resources available for new dads, I encourage them to look for support groups in their area.

They should also know that their partner’s obstetrician is there to ensure that they are okay, too. And just talking about how they’re feeling — honestly — with their partner can be very helpful. So can returning to regular exercise routines and continuing to enjoy hobbies. Of course, if dads need mental health support, that’s something they should pursue as well.

What advice would you give to new dads who feel like they can’t do anything right?

I would tell them that being a parent is the most important thing they can do. Both parents are navigating a new phase of life together, and they are trying to figure out how to do something neither of them have done before. Work together, put each other at ease, and accept that things will not always go according to plan.

How can a new dad bond with his baby in the early weeks, particularly if the baby is breastfeeding and spending a lot of time with mom?

There is some initial skin-to-skin bonding that can happen with dads. Then, as the baby starts doing things out in the world, like going to a music class, dad can take the baby instead of mom and enjoy that time with the baby. Getting comfortable with the baby out in the world can be big for new dads, especially those who may not have a lot of time off work after birth.

I’ll also add that if your partner is breastfeeding, doing a diaper change after she feeds the baby and putting the baby back to sleep can be a time for you two to bond. Or, if you’re formula feeding, splitting the workload of getting up with the baby can give you a chance to bond with the baby.

What’s something you wish you had known as a new dad?

I wish someone had told me to slow down and be a little more present during this amazing experience. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the demands of life, and in our preconceived notions about how things should be. The change is hard — there’s no doubt about that. But things are going to be OK, and however you and your partner make it work is fine.

If there’s one big takeaway, it’s to be prepared as you possibly can and have an open mind that things might not always go exactly how you thought they would. But you're having a baby at the end of all this, and that is exciting.